So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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