He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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