my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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