I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
