How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
