I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
