when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
