Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
