She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
