Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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