its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
