DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
