My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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