I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
