what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh god it's open bar.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize