Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
