Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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