so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
