I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
