I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
