just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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