I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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