i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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