They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
