you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
