i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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