The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
