why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
