Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
