I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
