that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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