Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
