you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
