question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
