Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
