dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Im part way to drunk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
