escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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