Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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