You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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