She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have tasted many bathrooms
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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