the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
