All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
