If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
