Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
