Where is the hickey?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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