I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
