I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
