I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
