take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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