Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
