if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the day after is always just damage control
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
