I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
