I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
