thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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