Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
COCAINE IS GR8
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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