I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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