1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
