KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.