You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My nipple is on Facebook.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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